I'm getting closer and closer to the age where having kids is the appropriate, respectable thing to do (even though the very idea still horrifies me,) which has caused me to observe parents and their kids a lot lately, and my observations leave me wondering: are most people completely insane from the get-go, or is that something you automatically acquire when becoming a parent? Regardless of which, I've observed the following.

1. Parents have a complete lack of respect for everyone else around them.
Is your kid shouting at the top of his lungs just for attention? Fuck that, you're on the phone/reading/texting! Is he running up and down the aisle at the mall screaming and kicking people? How cute, he's expressing himself! Is he walking up to people on the bus just to scream in their ear because he's unhappy with his seat and wants theirs? Why, of course the kid should have whatever seat he wishes; anyone already sitting there only have themselves to blame! Going to a fancy restaurant? Let's bring the infant along, I'm sure everyone will love having dinner at 130 decibels!

2. Parents give their kids whatever they point at.
God forbid you actually teach your kid to eat healthy or that you don't always get what you want; that'd require actual work!

3. Parents treat their kids as though they were made of glass.
This problem seems especially prevalent in the US (see comments to this for example) but happens everywhere that I've seen. Going to the park is dangerous! Climbing trees can kill you! Walking to school alone carries a 210% risk of getting abducted and raped to hell and back again! The internets are full of evil things, we have to make sure you don't accidentally glimpse them! Don't talk to strangers, that's even worse than walking to school! (This one has actually caused kids lost in the woods to hide from search parties, though I can't find a link to the story ATM.) As if most accidents didn't happen within the home, most abductions weren't committed by relatives and most cases of molestation didn't involve family members or close friends.

4. Parents back their kids up for just about anything.
Oh, your classmate's dad told you to stop bullying his son? Better call the police because the bastard had the audacity to talk to you!

Basically, everything I've seen indicates that having kids seriously impairs people's ability to think rationally and show respect for anyone outside the family. People who "think of the children" generally don't think at all, and this seems to apply tenfold to parents.

I suspect there are quite a few GDNet members who have kids of their own; have you recognized a shift like this in your behavioral or mental patterns in association with important events (most significantly birth) in your kids' lives?

EDIT: forum software ate -> in topic.
EDIT2: ate → as well. I give up.

What you're talking about sounds like stereotypically bad parenting. Are you sure you've actually witnessed all these things, or are you just basing this on things you've heard?

There are good parents and bad parents... but speaking as a parent of 2 children, the basic answer is yes, you have to be batshit insane to have kids.

I was listening to a radio interview the other day. The subject was a professor of neuro-chemistry whose current area of study was the effects of meth-amphetamine on the brain. The interviewer asked him what it was about this drug that made so many of it's users psychotic. His answer was that there wasn't anything particularly related to the drug itself, rather it was a side effect of the sleep deprivation caused by the drug. The interviewer jokingly replied that that would explain the state of many new parents.

[grin]

Quote: 2. Parents give their kids whatever they point at.

The problem is not just with food, but also with toys and other things. Parents yield easily to their kids' wishes, because it shuts them up. What they don't realise that such action just makes things worse in the long run.


Anyway, if you end up having kids, make sure you also invest in a durable garden hose.

(1) Hm. Sounds like a lousy parent. I keep much better control of my daughter.

(2) HA! I couldn't afford that even if I wanted to give her everything she wanted. She definitely is learning to live without.

(3) I think I have a pretty healthy balance on this one. I've let my daughter take falls before. How else will she learn? I focus on keeping her away from lasting damage, but I don't freak out that she starts climbing something.

(4) My daughter isn't old enough to be in this situation, but I agree that it's absurd.



Contrary to popular belief, parenting can be done right. It all comes down to where your priorities are and the strength of your relationships with your partner and children. ;)

Are you a fascist, Valderman? It sounds like you'd treat your kids as if you were one.

Quote: Are you a fascist, Valderman?

There's still a line of "normal" between being a fascist and anti-authoritarian, though. While I don't agree on the (transcribed) "all parents are assholes" idea, it is true that there is a significant enough proportion of parents who act exactly like Valderman pointed out, such as for example my neighbours. If you have one obnoxious idiot in a population of a hundred people, it creates enough noise to be disturbing.

There are things that I just wouldn't allow a 8 year old to do, and that includes playing with the lawn-mower (those feet will grow back, won't they), calling parents with their first name, pulling flowers out of the neighbour's flower-bed, and any similar thing such as ripping branches off the neighbour's tree only to throw the fruit at the neighbour on the other side.
The problem is, though, that once as a parent you notice that things are going wrong, it is usually far too late already. The kid has already learned that terror means reward, and it will get its will.

Quote: Original post by Valderman
I'm getting closer and closer to the age where having kids is the appropriate, respectable thing to do

This kind of reasoning probably produces a fair share of bad parents. It's ok to not have kids!

Well, not a fascist but a bit immature.

@OP: if you don't want kids then don't make them. No one forces you (except the government, like "childless tax" *sigh*)

What was your childhood like? Where your parents like you described? (I should get a fucking English grammar book because this is an outrage)

I think part of why it seems like there's so many bad parents out there is because you don't notice the good ones. Their kids are being quiet and not running around like crazy people.