Quote: Original post by zyrolasting
What kept me from practicing tact was the notion that "No matter how I phrase X, I'm still saying X".
This notion is quite correct, but there is something essential that you're missing. Other people realize this fact, too - at least, the smart ones do. They are going to know that when you're polite about stating some negative opinion, that opinion is still negative. If they don't, you're communicating badly or they aren't listening to you. The point of being polite in this case when both of you know that you're "still saying X" is to show to the other person with your phrasing that you don't mean to be insulting/negative and mean them no ill will, but you are being "forced" into it. That may not always be the case, but that is the impression you want to convey. If you do this, people will think of you as taking their feelings into account (ie. being empathetic), and will like you better for it even if what you're saying is negative.
