Are you that kind of guy who hasn't had exactly a great childhood - teenagerhood and still you entered uni, and after having you diploma you spect the world to work as you spected it to. Well. you're fucked up. I had a great childhood, and overall a great life, still it sucks. So don't be a moron. Try to find the man within you. Don't fuck everyone else just because life fucked you first. Be good. Fucker.

Fuck you.
I don't even understand you fucking post, but I had normal life, but I'm fucked anyway.

But real misery and poverty can teach you things: I realised, that simply my thinking is fucked up. Not me or the world.

Just because I fucked myself (after reaching the deepest point: constantly thinking about killing myself). And it turned out I didn't fuck myself, just fucked a lie that was in me for 20 years (I'm 25, BTW still virgin-laugh you dogs).



Fucking myself means: seeking help by writing to forums, and think about real uncomfortable problems, and with the thought that this "cure" is only lieing (to lie, my English sucks) to myself. With a chance, that I discover very bad things (I'm schizophrenic, my life is a Truman-show, or just a nightmare etc)

Real misery and poverty means (compared to what I experienced before): eating potatoes every time because it's cheap.
Not having a job for 5 months, so I can't go out - total loneliness.
No furniture, just a mattress in the room (it was hard to persuade the girl to leave at least that for me)
Using computer (brought from home) sitting on a stool, so my back is fucked
If something happens (injury/illness), I have no hope to pay the bills of it.
+the deep melancholy.

fucked up thinking: Thinking about complex problems without notes/sketches/drafts.
Just like thinking about engineering/programming problems without these: obviously impossible. But writing down thoughts is so lame/lie-to-myself, but fucking myself means fucking these (false) feelings.

And it works.
The tiny "discovery" may take me (with hard work) out of the shit.

I hope that made sense, and it's not OFF.

And this is happening now, and it's very uncomfortable. Thinking about the same old shit is sooo warm/comfy.

I know this feels just like another guy who find salvation (or other shit) (which I haven't) to those, who are still in the shit (This was the same with me).
But fucking myself means fucking myself.

[Edited by - szecs on March 6, 2010 3:29:02 AM]

Well, good. From what you're saying you don't look like a looser. You just look like a lazy coward fat ass. But you can work that out to become a hero. Or at least that's what Jung said.

Otherwise you're fucked up.

Yup, edited the post, that was the response I expected. So an advice: fuck yourself (or I misunderstood you, my English is degrading).

Who the fuck wants to be a hero?
I just want to fuck/live, which I can't do (thought I have some abnormality), but maybe not. Have to work it out (or find something to replace those).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dukkha