Well, an interesting little idea came to me for sort of an action-adventure game. Working title is "The Cinereous Protocol" The world is sort of futuristic/steampunk. (1) Core Gameplay: You control 2 characters. The first is a marksman, an elite soldier that's great with all sort of guns. He's a tall, shadowy guy. The second is a little girl who doesn't seem that unusual. However, that's just the form that she takes (she's a 'demon' summoned from somewhere). She is expert in demon magic and illusions. The point is that at any stage of the game you can switch control between the two. You can play exclusively as one the entire game, or switch off whenever you like. Each provides radically different gameplay styles, so you get to pick how you want to use them. Both the weapons and the magic side are nice and expansive. Maybe I'll describe them in detail if people are interested. (2) Story: Not that critical to the pitch, but here goes: The two are freelance mercenaries, hired as additional support for a certain military operation. In a remote rainforest, a scientific installation has been breeched from the inside by something unpleasant. You and some military backup have to recover the installation and figure out what caused the breech. As you progress deeper into the catacombs, you uncover more and more about the "Cinereous Project" that went awry. (not exactly orignial, but it sounds like fun!) Anyways... just a few aspects that I've thrown together so far. While I'm being theoretical here, I might as well add Multiplayer and Custom Maps to make it more well-rounded. So, what do you think of the core gameplay and/or story? I don't mind if you don't like it, I just sort of threw it together. Is there anything that you'd like to add to make it better?

Sounds intriguing. I'd suggest working out some more of it and posting that to see how people respond.

One question, though: How does a little girl come to be a mercenary? (If anything, that would "seem that unusual"P

Since you wrote you were making a game pitch, I put on my stern business oriented hat when reading your post - although I wasn't sure if I should put on the indie business hat or the traditional publisher hat instead.

My main thought is - what's your selling point? What's the big thing that you've got that makes your idea stand out from all the others? At the moment, all you've got is that you're controlling a two person team to achieve a somewhat standard game objective, which doesn't strike me as that different from scores of other games.

One thing that could be different is your "demon magic and illusions", but you haven't given us any indicator of what this means in terms of gameplay or graphics. The sniper marksman sounds rather plain in comparison.

My indie hat had second thoughts on your description of a base in the middle of a tropical rainforest. That's probably the most difficult terrain you could pick to implement in a game. A desert or tundra would be a heck of a lot easier.

Also, why are there catacombs under a remote scientific installation in the jungle ? [grin]

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While this might come as harsh, with my business hats on I'd say your idea doesn't at the moment sound like it's got enough spark to be worth funding or developing. You'd need to put something in it that would sell it to me - do you have a unique gameplay element that everyone wants to play, or do you have a dev team at your disposal that can implement the most life-like rainforests you have seen?

Doesn't sound half bad from what you said. Totally unoriginal though, but nothing really seems all that original nowadays anyway.

@TrapperZoid: Because there are always catacombs underneath remote scientific installations. Hm... perhaps catacomb was the wrong word. What's a good word for expansive, complicated maze of rooms?

And for this, you should probably take both hats off and give me a practice run. I have a hard time expressing in words what I'm envisioning in my head.

Well... The side that I have most worked out is the magic one.

Basically, there are six branches of 'magic' that you can use. This is going to be a combinational casting system, as I've brought up in several posts before (sort of combining all my ideas here). The real creativity of the magic system is the use of 'structures'. Obviously, you can do all sorts of useful spells on the spot, but the more powerful ones require structures.

A structure is just a place to put the spells to combine them into greater ones. A ring structure might be useful for creating a barrier or shield, for example (six 'sockets' for spells around the edge of the ring allow for some nice customization).

As for the guns side, it will be more of a traditional FPS style. Think Halo. The point is that there are two playstyles available, and those more comfortable with FPS style can use it. Those willing to try the magic side can enjoy a deep and creative playstyle. (The AI for whichever one you are not playing needs to be very high quality, of course).

So, let me refine and add to my sales points:

(1) 2 Playstyles
(2) Smart AI -> Enough to make things interesting. Some of the enemies you will face can be quite cunning, hiding in shadows and setting traps, protecting eachother and working as a team. Your AI (the character you don't control at the time) will also understand more of what you're trying to do than a simple 'follow 2 steps behind you'.
(3) A fun, albiet unoriginal story

Generally, a bunch of action and a fun/interesting world to explore. At the moment, it does need more substance. Any suggestions would be appreciated on what kind of content to add.

If you've never made a smart AI before, I can't use it to influence my decision to buy it, except "They must be desperate."

But me is noob unlike twohats here, and I'm not sure what exactly a pitch is. I'm assuming it has more to do with gameplay and story than technology. I think you need a named engine, or be known to have good AI in your games, to use technology as a point.

So, two gameplay styles can play, but only one is required...

How about a character gets better with their equipment whenever the player uses them? Also, what about having secret spots? To find them, you require either the magically-ignorant, but sharp, eye of the marksman; or the psychic, daemonic, whatever, sensory powers of the girl. Playing as one character most of the time will disallow you from finding the greater secret spots for the other.

Can the characters work in combination? Are there injuries? What is weapon customization like? I am interested in hearing about those if you'd like to tell.

I like the 'structure' idea for spells. It's like in So You Want To Be A Wizard, in which the characters drew circles and/or other symbols, as well as writing, with their wands to say what they wanted for the spell. I don't know what you mean by combinational. Is it just the customization of structures with sockets, or is it about how you perform the spell?

What kinds of enemies will the player be fighting and why?

How did the daemon end up where he/she is? Or is that something you don't want to ruin? ;] If that's the case, good. I just want to know if there is something in the story that includes both mercenaries. It sounds like you used mercenaries as a way to not have to include them in the plot. I'd have no connection to them. Bad idea.

I like the idea of two gameplay styles, one having to worry about things that are different than what the other has to worry about. The customization sounds as if it'll be nice. All you need is a deep and intriguing story that includes both characters, and I'd buy it.

Now you have the indie development problem that Trapper Zoid mentioned. How about you try a Resident Evil: Extinction approach; A laboratory out in the middle of the desert with a fence all around it. I'd say a tundra is still pushing it, but possible.

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So, what do you think of the core gameplay and/or story?

Its not that i dont like it, its more that i dont quite see what you're pitching. Is it FPS ? Traditional FPS with magic, like Undying ? Or innovative FPS ? Or is it TPS shooter ? Top-down ? Can the sniper, uh, snipe, from 500 meters away ? Two gameplay styles you say, but...what are those two styles ?

In other words, what does the player actually do and how will it look and feel like ? I dont understand that from your description. Sorry.

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Original post by Humble Hobo And for this, you should probably take both hats off and give me a practice run. I have a hard time expressing in words what I'm envisioning in my head.

I know what you mean - it's hard to describe exactly what it is about the vision of an idea that makes it seem good to you, especially if the vibe is more based on emotion or feeling.

However it's probably better to get feedback pushing you towards forming your idea down to something realistic. I know from my experience of dreaming up game concepts that it isn't that hard to come up with interesting ideas if you don't have any real world limitations. The real trick is coming up with one that's both interesting and within your abilities to implement it.

To give you an example from my ideas: back when I was learning C and C++ I had a great idea for a 3D action/adventure platformer style game called "Insomnia": you adventured through a series of children's dreamscapes suspended in bubbles floating in a swirling void of the subconscious, with each bubble world containing a unique experience and theme. Unfortunately I quickly realised that the main draw of the game was the breadth of content: while there was some chance of me being able to develop an engine for such a game, I'd need a team of a dozen or two 3D artists to make enough content for the game to be enjoyable. So I shelved the idea (probably for good). Content driven games don't work so well as indie games.

I'm assuming that you're in a similar position; if and when you get to implementing the game it'll mainly be you doing the work, possibly with help from a couple of other friends or from people in the Help Wanted forum here. That limits your scope considerably. As such, it's best to hinge your game on good gameplay ideas rather than content.

Any technology based attractions (like great AI) is going to need skilled help to implement - which isn't out the range of an indie, but is a major risk to the success of your project. You'd want to prototype any of these before risking the whole design on it, and I wouldn't go overboard with more than one technology attraction at the core of your design.

I'm also a bit worried about you listing two different gameplay options as one of your main attractions. You're essentially making two games in one, at least doubling the amount of work you have do. Probably more, since you have to balance the two paths. My advice would be to ditch the traditional sniper path, and focus your effort on improving the more interesting demon magic and illusions as well as you can.

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Original post by DaFatalGigabyte But me is noob unlike twohats here, and I'm not sure what exactly a pitch is.

Heh, I'm a complete amateur when it comes to game design; I just like putting on metaphorical hats. And non-metaphorical hats as well, come to think of it.

I've never gone through the process of selling an idea to a publisher, but my understanding is that the pitch is the first stage in the process. Typically it is very short and is designed to try and get the other person interested enough in your idea to want to learn more about it - you aren't expecting them to commit to the idea just from the pitch, but you're wanting them to commit some more time to listen to the complete idea.

It usually comes in either the form of an "elevator pitch" - which is the equivalent to a thirty second spoken pitch that you'd have ready if you ever found yourself in an elevator with the CEO of a major publishing house willing to listen to you - or in a document a couple of pages long. You usually phrase it to get the other party excited about the idea; it needs to be punchy and it needs to sell the basic points of your idea with flair.

Yawn is pretty much my response. There really is nothing there that inspires, nothing original. Without those, they've no incentive to not simply throw your idea in the bin.

Little girls controlled by demons are pretty much cliché now. And tall shadowy hero who's an elite soldier? Cliché too. Even the twists to that have become cliché.

Differing gameplay styles from different characters has been done a lot as well. And don't get me started on the storyline. Crysis, FarCry, Half Life, STALKER...the list is endless.