This story has run its course... [Edited by - Borkhan on November 23, 2006 10:42:58 AM]

I wouldn't call it a story just yet, but I do enjoy the writing style. Am I to understand this is supposed to be taking place 1929-1933?

Quote: Original post by Funkymunky
Am I to understand this is supposed to be taking place 1929-1933?

how did you come to this conclusion? I was thinking early 1980's from the mention of Yahoo or yuppies, unless there I'm missing something?

Quote: Original post by yapposai

Quote: Original post by Funkymunky
Am I to understand this is supposed to be taking place 1929-1933?

how did you come to this conclusion? I was thinking early 1980's from the mention of Yahoo or yuppies, unless there I'm missing something?

Maybe it was the man can't operate broom premise. :)

I came to that conclusion because the story seems to say that he called an agency asking about Hoovers and then law enforcement agents show up? I thought maybe president Hoover. And the "yuppies" were cops.

Then again, I forgot the Bin Laden reference...

So why do the cops come after him just for calling the hoover store asking for one?

Quote: Original post by Borkhan
fbi comes after him, because he threatened them with dire consenquences...

why did he get the FBI when he was trying to call the Hoover store?

Some criticism...

The intellectually challenged narrator is not convincing. He knows what "24/7" and "customers' rights" mean, and can frame fairly abstract concepts - "our little town has become very popular", "sweeping clients' pockets" - but has never heard of plain-clothes police. His vocabulary is inconsistent - "décolletage" to "boobies".

The main idea is strong, though, and I understood it first time round. But I really didn't get that the protagonist was meant to be stuck in the 80s.

doesn't make any sense to me