CIJolly suggested there ought to be more corporation vs corporation in the background for Fleets and i agree. Just a quick description. This is what combat in Fleets will be like from the players POV as the captain of his vessel. I welcome all crits and comments ;) Captains Log 248APRILLA08 0433 Cruiser Class. Designation 44AC2 (known as High Yield) Our vessel, Cruiser class, designation 44AC2, know as High Yield by her crew, has been assigned to Task Force 17 (TF-17) for the last 3 months and the missions have been standard escort duty. Protect Mining Fleet Alpha as it strip mines entire systems for the Corporation and the tour has been very dull but very profitable. Mining and escort operations have been satisfactorily completed in system 004-A7-29N/47A-5. Although this last one was 14 hours behind schedule, it is now complete. The Fleet Executive recalls our Warp Ship as soon as the MF Alpha declares that every available resource in the system has been taken and processed. The Warp Ship, also know as Profitability, is an enormous sphere the size of a small moon. She is used for further processing and Fleet transport between stars. Normal Fleet vessels can not achieve the speeds required for extra-solar travel because the thrust that the Drive Element creates is directly proportional to its size. Thus the smaller vessels are limited to star systems TF17, TF23, and TF42, which make up Second Fleet, enter the Fleet Warp Ship, along with MF Alpha, for our next jump where we will receive our new orders. ______ 248APRILLA16 2136 It has been eight days since MF Alpha completed operations in system 004-A7-29N/47A-5. The profit margin was unusually high that run. Very high yield minerals. No enemy present. No damage taken. No ammunition expended. No crew to replace and we earned our 2% plus an extra .34%. My vessel used that extra .34% for a new Astrogator as ours was getting old and “burned out” as his neural synapses began to liquefy. He was installed today. The Warp Ship is scheduled to reform in normal space in 3 hours and I am looking forward to seeing what he is capable of during this mission. ______ 248APRILLA17 0030 The TF Commanders handed down our new orders and the other Captains and I are worried. System 001-A7-58B/37-1 is vacant, according to the last sensor data taken 9 days ago, but the system 001-A7-58B/35-2 is controlled by the Adler Corporation and they are to close for comfort. Adler’s mining Op in 001-A7-58B/35-2 began over 6 weeks ago and they are still not complete. This means it is an especially high yield system. Most mining Op’s do not last more than 3 weeks. Their defenses will be high and they will be well reinforced if they were smart. They will also be edgy of our presence in a system not more than 10 warp hours away. I wish we had put our bonus into more battlesteel plate. Second Fleet has been though plenty of fight before. But always as a whole Fleet. This time TF42 will stay aboard the Warp Ship, along with the Fleet Executive, and make way for star cluster NX4-398/D to support a new Fleet Op. We are down 1/3 of our strength for an indefinite amount of time and we are without our Warp Ship for 14 days. Stranded. ______ 248APRILLA17 0215 Not more than 2 hours out of the Warp Ship our main computer beings to malfunction. Its efficiency was down 2.63%. The Chief Engineer worked for an hour trying to find the problem but it was the ships Head Surgeon who figure out the trouble. It contracted a cold and would need time to heal itself. The Marines are looking for any crew member who may have a cold and who may have sneezed on the main computer. They will be recycled as bio-mass. We cant have more components infected with a virus. Needless to say we pulled the old main CPU from the core, pulled life support, and replaced it with a new CPU as fast as we could. Its biomass will be recycled on the ship for nourishment. We only have one more spare CPU on ice. They had better hold out and not contract anymore colds. The Chief Engineer said this one actually screamed when it’s life support was being pulled. I find that hard to believe, and even more unsettling, but I have heard rumors that main computers tend to develop some human traits when in protracted use. We did have this one on board for over 6 months. Normally they don’t last more than 5. Other than that everything has gone according to plan. The Destroyer, 33DD6, her Captain calls her Abundance, has been slaved to High Yield’s Nav-Comp and we are patrolling the most likely entry vector for the Adler Fleets Warp Ship. Each of us has launched all but 2 sensor buoys and the Abundance placed every anti ship mine she had. Now we wait. 12 days till the Warp Ship returns. _____ 248APRILLA19 1457 10 days until the Warp Ship arrives and still no sign of Adler. All we can do is work and wait. The mining fleet is doing its best to harvest as much raw material but this system is unusually poor in resources. MF Alpha is reduced to harvesting and processing the atmosphere of the single gas giant in system. The captain of the Revenue did some digging and it seems that the records of this planets probable yield were altered. But why? The Corporation sends us within spitting distance of a superior fleet, undermanned, under armed and with 1/10th of their tonnage and takes the Fleet Executive, 1/3 of the fleet and our Warp Ship (our only means of escape) away from us. Some of the Captains are voicing concern that we have been set up and I can not say that I disagree, but no one can say for certain why. We all have to keep our collective voices down. The Fleet Inquisitors are watching us and some say they know the reason for this nightmare of a mission. None of the communication between us Captains is going through the regular tight beam channels. Instead the only way we can safely talk is by taking a shuttle and boarding each others ships. Local shuttle traffic is way up and it is catching the eye of the Inquisitors. Point in fact, our ship’s Inquisitors has not left my side all day long. I’m getting worried. _____ 248APRILLA27 1900 8 days. 8 days was all it took for Adler to mobilize. Quite frankly I expected them much sooner. Perhaps it took so long because we have not had issues with Adler in over 10 years. Our two Corporations have been out of each others hair for that long, maybe longer. Adler is like AXIS in that we are both very young Corporations but we were born from different mothers as it were. My Corporation, AXIS, was a breakaway Corp that came from the inter-corporate conflict between the share holders of the General Mining Concern. GMC was not expanding fast enough for some of the share holders. Their strategy was to hold what you got and move out slow and carefully. Try not to provoke any one if you can help it. After all, GMC was the first mining mega-corp in space and one of the biggest. They grew old and slow. To scared to take on any of the other Corporations. As a result profits decreased drastically. Some of the younger board members of GMC didn’t like this strategy. They said that even though GMC’s profits still grew it was no where near enough to keep the company alive. Sooner or later some younger Corporation with sharper teeth would come for our neck and GMC would be in no position to do anything about it. They were probably right. Well, those young share holders had loyal fleet commanders in their pockets and one day a full forth of the GMC combat fleet’s and a third of the mining fleet’s simply left. I am sure it was not loyalty that made those fleet commanders secede. More than likely it was the promise of Common Credits by the hauler load but such is life out here. Adler by contrast was born of hope. Like the settlers of old who came out to mine from the colonies, Adler is made up of high ideals of dirt side humans. Their ideals wont let them pass up a credit though. They are as greedy as any of us. But their story is short and sweet. Adler Corporation started out as a fleet yard. One of the largest vessel manufacturers to this day and they are making a tidy profit selling ships to us crazies out here blowing each other up. But for some reason, 10 years ago, someone high up in Adler decided it was time to reap the rewards of mining deep space. They never looked back since. Oddly enough 90% of AXEL’s fleet vessels are built by Adler. It was even more odd to look at my sensor display and see the electronic signature of a Cruiser class just like mine. Only this one wanted to kill us. ____ 248APRILLA27 2213 I brought the bridge to red alert and the rest of the ship soon followed. White lights dimmed and the red battle lights flared. The blare of the klaxons was intense and I have a habit of shutting the them off. Other Captain’s leave them running for the duration. I don’t know how they stand it. An active scan of the Adler Cruiser was done by my command even though it would light us up like a star on their sensor net. They were in full combat formation with heat sinks closed and running on batteries so they knew we were here. Probably a probe caught us. I Mostly to see what made her tick and what made her different than the High Yield and I was surprised to see her power plat was stock. Right out of the factory and she weighed as much as the High Yield or near enough. That meant that we had a higher acceleration than the Adler Cruiser because our power plant was an upgrade made last month. A further scan showed that her engines were the same make as ours but they were running 8% less efficient and ours. That meant we had a higher velocity too. At least that was in our favor. Yet she massed as much as we did. It was either extra battlesteel or heavier weapons. I didn’t much feel like finding out. The Adler Cruiser had two flanking Destroyers. Forward of their position were 4 Escort class vessels running interference for them. Tactical One (TAC One) said their velocity was holding steady at 91,000 KPH and they were 15 minutes out. Just outside of torpedo range. Laser comms traffic blistered space between the Abundance and High Yield. The known factors of the battle are being “discussed” by our 2 ship’s main CPU’s and they have drawn some conclusions. -The enemy formation’s velocity ensures that we will be within torpedo range in less than 4 minutes. -There is no way we can achieve an escape velocity fast enough to get out of their torpedo envelope. -If we make way away from the battle in 15 seconds we will be in their torpedo firing envelope for a total of 20 seconds. -In that time the enemy formation will be able to launch at least 28 torpedoes -We are only expected to intercept 26 of those -Staying and fighting ensures our demise. -Staying and fighting will result in the loss of 3 enemy Escorts and 1 badly damaged enemy Destroyer. +Conclusion: We will inflict more damage on more vessels which will ensure an economic victory. +Conclusion: We will loose the overall battle. +Conclusion: The battle will be over in three minutes and forty-two seconds. +Conclusion: We must run and take the estimated 2 torpedo hits. And hope they do not hit our engines. TAC One and Two concurred with the CPU’s. The Captain of the Abundance and myself concurred with our TAC officers and we made way from the battle at 45,000 gravities shouting, yelling, screaming to the rest of the fleet “The Attack has begun!” 2 minutes until we are within their firing envelope and the Abundance sends their TAC information to the High Yield. Seems that the enemy vector will bring the outer edge of their formation through her minefield in 3 minutes. It will defiantly catch one of the Escorts and maybe one of the Destroyers if they cant act fast enough. If they do react they will have to change their vector away from us which will save us from that torpedo window and we’ll get away clean. Or they will miss it entirely and take heavy damage from the laser mines. +Conclusion: We must continue to run. I concur but run to where? Our present vector will keep us within their torpedo envelope for 20 seconds if they do not deviate. Any deviation on that vector will keep us within the envelope even longer and the longer they can fire on us before their torpedoes become ballistic the more hits we will take. We can not alter course until 3 minutes after we exit their torpedo envelope and we will not exit that envelope for 20 seconds. Between here and there we could run into another Adler fleet, those 2 “estimated” torp hits could hit our engines, or any number of things. So we ran and we ran hard. _____ 248APRILLA27 2215 1 minute until the first Escort’s vector intersects with the outer most edge of the mine field. Other Allied fleet ships heard our distress. Laser communication is fast but it still only moves at the speed of light. One minute and thirty-two seconds after we sent it we received a reply. “Fighting retreat. Rally at 123.34.65. Mining Fleet will attempt to exit system. We’ll cover their retreat. Exit vector is 245 by 37 from rally mark. Good luck High Yield and Abundance.” We’re on our own. _____ 248APRILLA27 2215 30 30 seconds till the enemy vector takes them though our mine field and 10 seconds until their torpedoes can reach us before they go ballistic and begin pouring down on top of us. _____ “Multiple enemy torp signatures coming in hot, Sir!” The electronically filtered voice box of Tactical Officer 1 normally filtered out any semblance of emotion, but the tension in his voice today was unmistakable. Hot they were. Class V anti-capital ship torpedoes were fast. They were more than double our acceleration at 97,000 gravities and would reach us in 1 minute and thirty seconds. The Abundance hailed us. The captain told us that his vessels last refit included the new Mk. 2 anti-projectile missile and he’ll take up position on our 6. The Mark 2 PD system was better than what the High Yield had. We were running with a mixed bag of Mk. 1’s. Both gattling and flack variants meant for anti strike and assault craft. We could target and hit the incoming torpedoes but we could not do it outside of 5 kilometers which doesn’t give us much breathing room. The Mark 2 PD system on the other hand was missile based and could engage targets from 25 kilometers away. The Abundance will get what she can and we’ll take the stragglers. The TAC officer sounds worried again. He informed us that the enemy vessels were redlining their engines and power plants to keep us in their torp firing envelope just a little longer. He didn’t have to tell us. Just by looking at the sensor panel I saw that they gave us 3 more seconds of envelope time. I sent an order pulse to Engineering +Engineering. Reprioritize. Power Consumption. +Engines priority 1. +PDS priority 2. +Life Support to 1/4th +Ready Damage Control. Those 3 extra seconds the Adler gained allowed them to launch another 4 torpedoes and with that the CPU sent an information pulse to the bridge. The CPU sent the bridge a pulse. +Destruction Imminent +Recommend sacrifice the Destroyer designation 33DD6 to save Cruiser designation 44AC2 No. The rest of the crew must have thought I was mad but none of us got a chance to think about it. The small Adler fleet was so preoccupied with gaining a few more seconds and thereby increasing their launch time that they did not catch the mine field in time. In fact they were so busy that it was 2 Escorts and 1 Destroyer that were destroyed outright and the Cruiser took a glancing blow. The entire starboard side of the formation fell apart in the blue white flashes of imploding space. We were far to far away for a visual but we all know what it looked like. The beams from the laser mines had an effective range of 25 kilometers and were invisible to the naked eye. But the damage they cause is clearly visible. Laser mines don’t direct their fire. Instead, each mine shoots 6 beams out into space in the hopes of intersecting the enemy. And when they do the results are spectacular. Battlesteel is pierced and internal components are cut. External components and weapons are destroyed. Sometimes, when you get lucky, the drive bottle is hit. Instant death for any vessel. There were no cheers on the High Yield. No sighs of relief even though we were out of their firing envelope by now. There was no time for such things because 32 Class V torpedoes were almost upon us moving at over 250,000 KPH. This is the horror combat in deep space. Even though the ships and the weapons are moving at incredible velocities, more than a regular human mind and possible comprehend, the battlefield is so vast that everything takes place in slow motion. The Abundance and the High Yield together took out three vessels and damaged a fourth. By all accounts it would be a great economic victory for AXEL. But those vessels already fired their torpedoes in their attack. Those torpedoes have now become revenge weapons. The Abundance PD system took over and was under automated control. Their targeting software was more advanced than ours was so we slaved our PD system to theirs. That little Destroyer was launching missile after missile toward those torpedoes. Two at a time. It was a never ending stream that lasted but 5 seconds. Then she stopped firing. She expended every last point defense missile. 50 mini interceptor missiles raced towards their larger targets at 50,000 gravities as I watched on my sensor panel. Little red blips converging on bigger blue blips. And we had 20 seconds to wait in silence to see the outcome. _____ 248APRILLA27 2218 …2 seconds…1 second…the first impact reports began coming in but with no details. We know at least 20 of the incoming torpedoes were hit from the radiation signature but the EM interference in the area was to great. We couldn’t lock onto individual torpedoes to see how many survived. If any did. We’ll just have to wait until the surviving torpedoes clear the interference. Then it’ll be the High Yield’s turn to save the day. Sure enough 2 got through. The Abundance did better than expected. Much better. The CPU sends another information pulse to the bridge. -Estimates that Point Defense System Mk.2 will not intercept both Class V Torpedoes. -Estimate total destruction of Destroyer Class and serious damage to Cruiser Class. +Recommend, again, the sacrifice of Destroyer designation 33DD6 to save Cruiser designation 44AC2. No. never. Not a chance. I cant order that captain to turn about into those torpedoes. The bridge crew knows I received that information pulse form the CPU because they received the same pulse but they are not letting on. They are a good crew. Then the Operations Officer spoke up. “Captain Sir. Incoming comms query from the Abundance.” I said I’d take it on my panel. “Captain. Thank you for taking my comms. It’ll be the High Yields turn in, looks like 57 seconds from now, to intercept your share.” “We’ll get ‘em Captain. Don’t you worry your pretty little head.” I smiled as I said it but he could see through it. He knows… “Listen Captain, I just had a little talk with my CPU. I assume it was the same conversation you had with the one on the High Yield.” “I’m sure it was. And?” “And I am expecting an order here. Why have I not received it?” “Because I will not give that order Captain.” “You have to. If you don’t we’ll both die. Even if the High Yield lives to see another day, you wont. The Inquisitors will have you recycled.” “We have 30 seconds until my PD system opens up and we will take out those birds. You and the Abundance just sit tight.” “I can not do that Captain.” He looked deep into my eyes. “The High Yield must live. Even if you do take out both of those torps we will both suffer the consequences of not taking the CPU’s logical action. I am turning the Abundance into one of those torpedoes Captain. The last one is yours.” Just then TAC One announced that we shot one torp out of the sky. The resulting release of energy was significant to say the least. Before I could order the Captain of the Abundance to hold formation he was lost in a mess of comms static. 5 seconds later there was another explosion. Much larger than the first. The resulting EM interference would block us from the rest of the Adler fleet until it dissipates naturally. About 4 hours. We’re safe for now and TAC 1 tells me we would not have intercepted that second missile. That was but a probing action on the part of Adler so we took the High Yield to the rally coordinates to make our fighting retreat. At some point in the distant future an child on Mother Earth will look into the night sky through a toy telescope and see a star being born. But it wont be a star. It’ll be Destroyer Class, designation 33DD6, known as the Abuncance, being destroyed. Sacrificing itself for the good of AXEL Mining Consortium. All hands lost for profit because a human computer said it was the logical and most cost effective solution there was.

Well, I like it. You've obviously put a lot of thought and work into this.
I'm not an experienced writer or anything, but here are the thoughts I had reading through it.

AprillA08, paragraphs 3 and 4 don't sound like the sorts of things you'd find in a captains log, more like what you would find in a book on these ships.
eg, "She is used for further processing and Fleet transport between stars" doesn't sound like something a captain would write. It sort of comes out of nowhere, and doesn't relate to the captains current situation. I would give it some context to the captain.
Perhaps try "We are returing to our Warp Ship, Profitability, to unload our cargo for the processing we can't perform on our own ships. We'll be using her to transport our fleet between the stars, as our own vessels can't achieve (etc etc)."

Something I thought would fit well into your story would be to add that the captain is undertaking diciplinary measures for the crew for being 14 hours late on a 3 month mission.
Along the same lines, "No crew to replace" could become "crew losses below the standard 5% mortality"
Actually, scratch that. I've finished reading the story and it looks like he's a compassionate captain. How does that mesh with life is cheap?

"Most mining Ops don't last more than 3 weeks." Again, it doesn't have any context. Both the captain and anyone interested in this report would know how long Ops normally take. It comes out of nowhere. I would write "We've got a pretty experienced crew, and it doesn't take us more than 3 weeks to finish an Op. If they're still in there after 6 weeks, they're either having some serious problems, or they've hit paydirt."

At other times, during the fighting, it sounds more like a train of thought than a log. Is he writing reports every 15 seconds at one point? Does it record his thoughts?
To all intents and purposes, during the battle it has stopped being a log and become a story.

Your laser mines wouldn't work. The volume of a sphere with a 25 kilometer radius is enourmous, one of six beams would never hit a target at that range unless the ships are gigantic. You'd have to make them targeted, reduce the range and up the number of mines, or make the lasers move.

In Apr27 1900 you call the corperation AXIS once and AXEL later.

The emotional sarcrifice at the end seems a bit tacked on. The reader has no reason to care if the Abundance dies or not.
The conversation doesn't really work. There's too many dialogue without any of the detailed descriptions that make up the rest of the piece. It's just suddenly a conversation in the middle of nowhere. The captain makes the decision to sacrifice himself and the lives of his crew pretty hastily, doesn't he?

There are a few grammatical mistakes to clean up and some awkward sentences.

Other than that, the story itself is fine. Sorry if it seems overly critical, those are just the parts that didn't seem to mesh well with the rest of the story, or seemed out of place.

The lead up to the battle is the most interesting part.

Quote: Sorry if it seems overly critical, those are just the parts that didn't seem to mesh well with the rest of the story, or seemed out of place.

NOT AT ALL!
This is what I need and why I posted it here. When I show my friends and partners they say “that’s awesome” which doesn’t help me much.

Thanks for the feedback. I’ll make some corrections soon after I get a few more little background stories down.