Hmm, we haven't had a forum game in here in a long time - wonder if anyone even remembers how to play? A forum game is a cooperative exercise in creating a game story. I'll leave some challenges here to start you off, and you all can suggest a way in which one or more challenges might be incorporated into the game story, then leave some challenges of your own for later posters. Each forum game also has a theme, and this one's theme is 'cliche twister' - all challenges must be cliches, but you can only use them in 'twisted' ways. For example, if someone leaves the challenge 'kidnapped princess', you can't make the hero have to rescue her. Instead, maybe the hero has to hire a kidnapper to kidnap the princess before he can be forced to marry her. [wink] So here are your challenges: Dragon Halfblood Magic Sword Gold Poor orphaned village boy Grandmother Additional rules: Please try to be consistent with all previous posts and build upon them. Don't take 2 turns in a row. Okay, go! [smile]

Dragon:
The king has tried combatting the dragon menace by sending worthy knights to slay it, which results in their untimely deaths. To this end, His Majesty sought advice from outsiders. Finally consulting the elite society, the king decided to make peace with the dragon. To this end, our hero must seek out the dragon's lair and convince the beast to join him for tea in accordance with the tradition of peace offering.

New Challenge:
Dragon lair

-Greven
/is this the right idea?

Quote:

Original post by Evil_Greven Dragon: The king has tried combatting the dragon menace by sending worthy knights to slay it, which results in their untimely deaths. To this end, His Majesty sought advice from outsiders. Finally consulting the elite society, the king decided to make peace with the dragon. To this end, our hero must seek out the dragon's lair and convince the beast to join him for tea in accordance with the tradition of peace offering. New Challenge: Dragon lair -Greven /is this the right idea?

Our hero, being a rather unusual hero, decides (with the help of a strange voice inside his head) that he must first consult with the Royal Court's Arch-Mage +3 for any information on what could make the entrance into the beast's lair any easier.

"Why yes," says the Arch-Mage, who seemed to have all the information needed before the question was asked. "You need to find the Magical Sword of Courtesy so that you might force thine enemies into politeness."

The hero, taken aback by this answer, asks what any would ask: "Surely you are mistaken. I am a great hero! I should be hacking and slashing my way to victory! Are you sure this information is entirely correct?"

"OK," says the Arch-Wizard. "Here's the thing. I am tired of all you little heros questioning my wisdom. There's a reason why you came to see me, yes? Because I know things, yes?"

The hero nods, pacified. "Well, can you at least tell me where I can find this Magical Sword?"

The wizard puffs up in renewed indignation. "Of course I can! They sell them everywhere. It's just an ornament, anyway. It is the user who gives it its power! I suggest you go shopping in the village next door. Oh, and just so you know; you should get some herbal tea with honey. Dragons can get sore throats at times. I'm sure the gesture will be appreciated."

Mystified by this answer, our hero excuses himself and heads towards aforementioned village.


New challege:
Find a nice-looking sword.

Quote:

Original post by Evil_Greven Dragon: The king has tried combatting the dragon menace by sending worthy knights to slay it, which results in their untimely deaths. To this end, His Majesty sought advice from outsiders. Finally consulting the elite society, the king decided to make peace with the dragon. To this end, our hero must seek out the dragon's lair and convince the beast to join him for tea in accordance with the tradition of peace offering. New Challenge: Dragon lair -Greven /is this the right idea?

Um, sort of - this is a pretty standard way to use dragons, the idea is to use thing in a creatively and humorously twisted way, like jflanglois's mage and sword. But don't worry, you get points just for being the first person to take a turn, and maybe we needed a standard base to start from before we started piling on twists anyway. [wink]

Our hero travels to the next village to find a nice looking sword. When he arrives, he's drawn to a shop with a big neon sign flashing 'swords-r-us'.

"Yes!" he cries, "this is sooo easy"

On entering the shop, he is amazed by the wide choice on offer.

Gadzooks, this is going to take a while, which one shall I choose?, he thought to himself.

On hearing this thought process, the shopkeeper sidles up to our hero and asks if he can help him with his purchase.

"Erm, I'm looking for a sword that will help me with my quest", answers our hero.

"Ah, an important thing to remember is, which one will want to help you with your quest", replied the shopkeeper.

Perplexed, our hero walks around the shop, peering at all the shiny metal. Suddenly, an old rusty sword starts trembling as he walks by it. The shopkeeper looks over with a wry smile and beckons our hero to pick it up.

"What? that is of no use to me", said our hero, "It's so worn that it would be better as part of a fire grate than used as a keen-edged trusty sword".

Undeterred, our hero continues around the shop and lifts up a particularly nice looking sword. When he does, it goes limp in his hand. He tries several others and they all do the same thing. The shopkeeper reiterates his previous words, "I'm sure I did mention this, it will depend on which one will want to help you, not the other way around".

Our hero, reluctantly, picks up the trembling rusty sword. Immediately, it seems to grow strong in his hand

"That'll be 25,000 gold, thank you", said the shopkeeper, "It seems your choice has been made".

"It's still awfully rusty", replied our hero derisively.

"With much care and kindness, you will find that the rust will disappear in time", said the shopkeeper.

"OK, but I have not enough gold at the moment", replied our hero

"When you have enough, the sword will be here waiting for you", said the shopkeeper

With that in mind, our hero replaces the rusty sword where he found it, and exits the shop.

Next challenge:
Gold.

(the present tense of this story is really messing with me!)
To clear things up, I'm using italics for the hero's thoughts, and parenthesis for the voice's comments.

As our valiant hero leaves the store, he checks his man-bag (even in these days, men couldn't quite accept how useful a 'purse' could be).

"Sixteen gold!" he says, enthusiastically.
(Yes, and only 24,984 to go,) says the voice in his head.
"!@#$" says the hero.

Thankfully, '!@#$' happens to be the password to the Cirrhosis Arms, a nearby pub and grill. After a brief and rather catchy jingle, the door swings open and bids the hero enter, and to save time, adieu, as well. The town has always been known for its efficiency.

The hero attempts to peer through the bar, but the many bubbles block his sight. Apparently he has entered a bubble bar, something that was believed to only exist in myth. Enjoying his new surroundings, the hero presses on through the bubbles until running into another customer.

"Hi, there!" exclaims our proud, bubble-covered hero.
"To whom it may concern," replies the well-dressed man.

Then, defying all logic and precedents, the customer begins speaking in all capital letters.

"FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE."

Of great magnitude? This sounds perfect - exactly what I need! "Of course, tell me more!"

"WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT."

Trapped funds! Rich Nigerian official! What are the odds? It must be my status as a hero that created this strange confluence of events!

(Yes, heroism. That's what it is,) says the voice, dropping into mumbling about 'stupidity.'

Unfazed by the invisible voice, the strange customer continues, "HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF $125,000.00. HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS."

$125,000? Twenty percent of that... carry the two, lift the three, raise the dead, and...

(It's $25,000, you nitwit) concludes the voice.

That's enough for my sword! AND sixteen Windy's Tastes-like-chicken nuggets! "After serious thought," (Yes. Very serious thought.) I've decided - how do I help?"

After a brief explanation of the required tasks, the man concludes, "YOURS FAITHFULLY, DR CLEMENT OKON.
NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES."

"Excellent!" shouts our hero, disturbing several bubbles, which were quickly surprised to find themselves alive. "I'll get back to you."

The hero slowly walks out of the bar, stunned at his luck, nay, his skill!

"To whom it may concern," says the Nigerian man as the door closes.

Back on the street, the hero sits on a tired turtle recently hired as a city bench. Now, all I have to do is to go see the trolls inside the bank, and set up an account. Brilliant! (Yes, stunningly brilliant, of course.)




Okay, so I haven't gotten the gold yet, but the next challenger has to set up the bank account first. It might be easiest if the Nigerian is for real. I've run out of ideas for getting all this gold!

Sorry about the length of this one. By the way, I liked your post, Avatar God.



As he walks out into the bright afternoon sun, our hero cannot help but strut towards the nearest bank. What a day! Ne'er have I amazed myself as much as today. He reads the sign above the entrance: Fortuna Credit Union.

Satisfied by the allure of the building, he enters and continues to strut towards the reception desk. There, he treats the receptionist to a winning grin and announces: "I would like to open an account!"

The receptionist, unmoved by the paradigm of bubbling glee before him, takes out a form methodically and instructs our hero in a flat and dull voice that he must fill this form in, thusly, and that someone from "accounts" will be down shortly to -- yes, yes, he guessed it -- open his account. "You do know how to write, hmm?"

Our hero, unfazed by this attack on his character, says: "I, sir, am a hero!" The receptionist seems unimpressed, but our hero has already moved to the sitting area to fill out his form.

Upon sitting however, and looking more closely, he realizes that he cannot read any of it. This is not for lack of Reading Skill, however. It is simply that the choice of typeface is consistent with the requirement that the Terms of Service fit on one page. Our hero looks around and notices that there is a stack of magnifying glasses to his left. Yet again amazed by his ingenuity, our hero proceeds to read the first line of the form.

"By signing this document, the Subscriber (hereby refered to as "sbscb") agrees to the following terms and conditions ("trmsndcndtns"):
1) Description of services ("dscrptnfsrvcs"): The sbscb will gain access to our wide range of services ("wdrngfsrvcs") which include the use of one financial account ("fnnclccnt") for deposit or..."

Yes, yes, standard stuff, blah, blah. On to the end:

"th sbscb hrb ccpts th trmsndcndtns s dscrbd n th dscrptnfsrvcs, prvcplcs, lglrghtsndrstrctns, nd ll thr dtls rfrncd n ths dcmnt […]

Sgntr: ………………………………………."

The hero, feeling more confident by the minute, proceeds to place an "X" lovingly over the dotted line. As soon as this is done, the form is ripped out of his hands by a tall and overwhelmingly unattractive troll.

"Who are you?" Asks our confused protagonist.

"I am your financial advisor, sbscb." Replies the troll. "Here is your card."

The troll places a pocket sized polished wood card with a string of numbers on it into the hero’s hands. “Well, then, sbscb, you’re all set. Welcome to the FCU”

The hero, fuzzy with euphoria, takes his leave and insults the front door of Cirrhosis Arms, which happily obliges. Once inside, our hero once again faces the well-dressed man.

"To whom it may concern…" begins the Nigerian.

"Yes! That’s me. Here is my account number: 7943 0000 0000 0011" replies our protagonist, squinting at his freshly issued card.

The Nigerian pauses, obviously processing this information. "Thank you. The funds have been transferred."

Another pause. "Can you give us our 70% now?"

New challenge:
Battle with morality.

[Edited by - jflanglois on January 31, 2006 1:28:59 PM]

Ahem. I know other people in this forum can write. Now hop to it!

Seriously Mare, write for us! [grin]

[Edited by - Avatar God on February 5, 2006 10:56:45 PM]