Here is an extract from a story i am working on, some feedback would be nice. Its not that exciting but i havent done much at th emoment! Cook now had his pistol held firmly in front of him, he slowly strafed down the pitch black stairway. His eyes scanned for any sign of lexey. His feet clunked on the hard surface, the creatures above still rattled and banged, the generator noise had stopped. Cook was now walking down another similar corridor, it was once again lined with empty cells. An air door closed off the stairway he had walked from, he was once again plunged into silence. Only his footsteps could be heard as he creeped along the empty walkway. Lexey was no where to be seen. A scream came from behing him, he spun around. the same scream came once again from behind him, he span around again. His breathing was now heavy and the pistol was shaking in front of him. Hissing circled around him, he was spinning and spinning falling, he fell and his face crushed on the cold hard floor. A shotgun was thrusted into his back forcing the air out of him. He lay struggling for breath covered in the silhouette of a a man. He looked round, and found it was not a man but lexey. She looked different, her eyes were popping out like she was on drugs. A shotgun noise echoed.

The one thing here that I think you should be complimented for is not over describing the situation while getting across the mood. I shall say however that your voice needs some work, your overuse of the words 'he', 'his' and 'him' got me bothered by the end of one paragraph and the redundancy of your descriptions in one or two sentances were annoying ("it was once again lined with empty cells" - "he was once again plunged into silence" - "he was spinning and spinning falling") these sentences in particular need care.

Good job, keep at it. Once you have a good voice nothing can stop you.

i gathered it must of had some problems when no one else commented!!! thats fir replying though i will work on a new version and get it up here ASAP

That was a bit short could you post more of it next time.