"Which way does the pointy end go?"
"DEATH to you, by my DEATH dealing DEAD stick!!!"
"A good clubbing will make it all better."
"I kill you, then I go to Disneyland."

Okay, so that last one might have some legal issues, but I think it is funny anyways, so there :p

One of my favourite Magic:The Gathering flavour texts (Uthden Troll) :
"Oi oi oi, me gotta hurt in 'ere,
Oi oi oi, me smell a ting is near,
Gonna bosh 'n gonna nosh 'n da hurt'll disappear."

The sound effects of the Orks in Dawn of War are absolutely hilarious, although some would be hard to transcribe to written form I think.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggh!"
"Ork Ork Ork Ork Ork Ork Ork Ork Ork" (On that classic Ice Hockey organ tune)

"I have a big gun and I am not afraid to use it. I just don't know how"

"I am thick as a brick, and twice as hard!"

"You look me funny in the eye, little hu-man?"

Meh :P Maybe playing a dumb half orc would help you ? I know I voluntarily kept my INT low when I played NWN so I could get the funny remarks from all characters "I see you are a bit slow...", "You aren't exactly the sharpest orc, are you"

"It's not the same when they don't squish"

Me hit you so hard, when you land, you armour back in fashion

You be nice. If you no nice, me feed you to pet troll - Grok.... Grok? ... No Grok, no, bad troll! [screams]

Me do ash u shay, me pull out one toosh for every humie me kiwled.
Dumb-head! Me mean you pull humie teeth, no yours!

Me killed many enemy. Me killed one humie every day since come here. Me killed.... uh .. [counts on fingers] ... lots!

"Who stepped in something?"
"Is my blood red, or was that yours?"
"Be nice to poor orc, or orc will be nice back!"
"If I had a club I'd mash you. Oh wait, I do..."
"Eeewww, a hu-man!"
"Wow, you ARE ugly!" (referring to a human)
"If I could count, you'd be the third human I've killed today!"

Okay, I'm quite overwhealmed with the responce this thread is getting! I've just fired up the sound software and have begun to record them (only stand in, but it'll help when developing). I bought a book called Orcs the other day (fantasy novel) which has a few classics in it, but sadly the Orcs are portrayed as quite intelligent. Ish [wink].

Personal faves:

"I am thick as a brick, and twice as hard!"
"See my finger? See my fumb? See my fist? 'Ere it comes!"

Quote: Original post by grekster
LN is in hotshots part deux? how did I miss that!

LN wasn't in it, but it reminded me of his films which have loads of great lines.

ahw: Funnily enough I was browsing through the NWN conversation scripts for inspiration and some of the Low-Intelligence remarks are quite amusing. Some of the insults low-charisma characters recieve are just as good!

I knew i'd fine a good reason to play Dawn of War again. Actually, I think I'll have to play Warcraft 3 again too - some of the speech that's played when you keep clicking on the same unit is brilliant ("Help help, I'm being repressed" being one of my favourites, not that it help's in this situation).


Any more ideas? You will get credited in the game btw (yes, that's right my budding authors, your own name in a reall game... mod).

BTW. you want any help with it? I've just started learning NWN scriping (its quite like C), and the toolkit.

More random gibberish...

"I miss my muvver! [SNIFF!] She was... she was like a muvver to me!"
"I'm not fick! I'm just stoopid!"
"Yer, I luv humans! Specially wiv ketchup!"
"Hur, hur! Moi mum sed even dis axe is sharper dan me!"
"Yer, I likes to go knightclubbin'!" [Sorry!]
"Shut up or I'll smash yer teef so far down yer froat, you'll be stickin' yer toofbrush up yer arse every mornin'!"

(Singing) "Dis club woz made fer clubbin', an' dat's just wot I'll do! An' right now I is gonna whack dis club all over you!"

"D'you know wot smitin' is? Wanna find out?"


--
Sean Timarco Baggaley
(I really have too much free time on my hands.)

I think a few randon orc grunts, snorts and sniffles would be good as well.

"Aw, not another one of them. They have bones!"
"You! You won't make good eating!"
"I'll clobber you if you leave my arms attached! I promise!"
"My muvver warned me about you!"
"My muvver said not to put things in my mouth if I hadn't known where they've been!"